Why Do I Hit It in the Water When I Tell Myself Not To?
Why Do I Hit It in the Water When I Tell Myself Not To?
It’s not a hard shot. It’s not even a long one. Take the lake out of the picture and I clear it every time, no problem. But the lake is never out of the picture. It sits there in front of the green, and I can feel the bad shot forming in my mind before I’ve even taken the club back. I see the ball come off thin, come up short, drop into the water.
So I tell myself, quietly, don’t hit it in the water.
And I hit it in the water.
Why Does the Same Bad Shot Keep Coming Back?
I wish I could say that only happens once in a while. It’s happened to me over and over, on that same kind of shot, for years. And it’s not the only one. There’s another shot that’s followed me even longer, one most golfers know by name and dread just as much.
It’s called a shank. The ball comes off the neck of the club instead of the face, and instead of going forward it shoots almost sideways, sometimes straight toward the golfers next to you. I’ve hit that shot more times than I’d like to count over forty years, and it’s every bit as humiliating as it sounds, especially on a crowded range where the ball doesn’t stay in your lane. The strange part is what happens next. The more I try to correct it, the more I think about not doing it again, the worse it gets. I’ll stand over the next shot telling myself don’t do that again, picturing exactly what I don’t want, and somehow that’s the shot I hit.
Why Does Telling Yourself “Don’t” Backfire?
For a long time I thought this was just nerves, or a swing flaw, or bad luck showing up twice. But it happens in a pattern too consistent to be luck. One of the main ways your safety system helps protect you is by pulling you toward what’s familiar — over time it can begin treating familiar and safe as if they mean the same thing. That’s the piece most people know. What I didn’t understand for years is that your safety system also protects you by rehearsing outcomes, running the scene in advance so you’re ready for it. Most of the time that’s a gift. It’s how you prepare for a hard conversation or a big presentation. But it doesn’t check whether the outcome it’s rehearsing is one you want.
Whatever you do, don’t put this one in the water.
That’s the pitch. And to guard against the water, it has to hold the picture of the water in mind. Say don’t and picture the bad shot in the same breath, and you’ve just asked your own mind to keep that picture front and center right when you need it gone.
Why Picturing a Bad Shot Is Like Practicing It
Here’s the part that changed how I think about it. Picturing a shot isn’t neutral. It’s a little like practicing it. Golf instructors see this constantly with the shanks, players who get so afraid of hitting one that they picture it before every swing, and the fear becomes part of the cause instead of just the reaction to it. I wasn’t just afraid of the water. I was standing over the ball rehearsing exactly the shot I didn’t want, right before I swung.
The mind doesn’t practice what you say. It practices what you see.
How Do You Stop Rehearsing the Shot You’re Afraid Of?
I don’t have this fully fixed. I still don’t love that shot over the water. But naming it changed something. Now when I catch myself thinking don’t, I try to catch the picture underneath it too, and swap it for the shot I actually want to hit instead. It’s a small version of the Test step in the STOP technique, asking whether the thought in my head is helping me prepare or just helping me avoid.
It doesn’t guarantee a perfect shot. For the most part, in my experience, it at least gets my mind rehearsing the right one.
Take the Lead Challenge
Think of something you’ve told yourself “don’t” right before doing exactly that. Next time you catch yourself mid-instruction, notice the picture behind the words, and try replacing it with the picture of what you actually want to happen.
F. Allen Scott is the author of From Safety to Success, where he explores the safety system framework behind why we stay stuck, and how to finally change that.
Related reading: Why Do I Feel Like a Fraud Even Though I’m Successful?